It's been far too long since I've spent time on my blog. For the past few months, I've felt like I should get back into blogging, but I haven't taken the necessary time to do so. I've decided that the new year is a great time to start it up again, so here we are!
Although I'm not a big believer in waiting for a new year to make changes in life, I think that the beginning of a new year is a great time to consider areas that need improvement and to make specific goals to promote those changes. In past years, my resolutions have consisted of one or two things I could do to improve myself spiritually, combined with a lengthy list of things I needed to do to improve myself physically. My past resolutions have always included weight loss, and often included other things such as training for a marathon, totally cutting chocolate out of my diet, etc.
While I do believe that physical health is extremely important to living a satisfying life, looking back on my resolutions, I can see that I was compromising my overall health in an attempt to achieve a worldly standard of physical health. I can see now that while to others it seemed like cutting chocolate was a really disciplined thing to do that would lead me to better health, I can see that it was just a year spent eating things that were just as unhealthy, I just didn't enjoy them as much. In another year, it seemed to others like I was so on top of things because I was training for a marathon, but I can see that my obsession with exercise took control of my life and on days that I wasn't able to have a lengthy workout, I slipped into an anxious depression that I felt nobody could understand. In years where I was "successful" in losing weight, I received nothing but positive feedback that let me know that others approved of what I was doing, when looking back I can see that I was slowly destroying my body and my self-image.
At the time I set each of the previously mentioned resolutions as well as many others, I felt that they were my ticket to happiness. I felt that if only I was skinnier, more fit, or more disciplined, I would be happier. That's the message the media commonly portrays to us, and it was something I came to accept. Looking back, I can see that the majority of those goals led to the exact opposite of the happiness I was striving to achieve. My inability to meet the standard of beauty portrayed all around me made any accomplishments I did have seem so unimportant. My goals led me to have even poorer self-image, greater depression, and more obsession and preoccupation with my imperfect body.
While there's nothing I can do to change the past, there are a multitude of things I can do to shape my future. The challenges I've experienced in the past have made me into the woman I am not, and the woman I am now is capable of change. This year, I'm ditching the resolutions to lose weight, restrict my diet, and to get more "fit" in the way that society portrays fitness. Instead, I'm replacing them with resolutions to live a healthy life, to obtain a healthy view of myself, and to forget myself in serving others. I know I have a long journey ahead of me, but I've also had a long journey behind. Although nothing is possible on my own, I know that all things are possible when we have help from the right sources, both mortal and divine. Happy 2014, everyone! May this be the best year yet!
